KP.. AN AUSTRALIAN PERSPECTIVE

ENVY AND SHORT MEMORIES

Of course we want your best player to play,we will still win comfortably but without him you will need to call the police onto the ground and charge the Australians with murder.
If you are an England cricket supporter and you don't want KP in your team then the usual status quo will take over. In the majority the test matches you won to get to number one, KP was a huge part of that success. Even partially fit, he was head and shoulders above anyone else in the England team and was the wicket we most wanted.

But lets clear up some things first shall we ? KP can be an idiot, but then who can't. Textgate i hear you cry, lets clear that up first. KP did not give away secrets he just called Strauss a " doos " and people say he should never be given an England role yet Strauss can call him a "c**t and still get the supremo job. You cannot have one rule for one and one for another.

Secondly Strauss and KP do not get on, that's fine, neither do Watson and Clarke but they get on with the business of chasing South Africa for the number one spot. Thirdly i do not remember Broad coping the flak for the parody account on Twitter. Every journalist worth his salt knows just how involved he and Swann were in that.

So lets get this correct, you have a rubbish captain, a rubbish team and if you do not pick him then you have selectors more interested in their egos than England's fortunes. Maverick players need sympathetic managing, so manage him.

The moment i will savour is when another of your batsmen walk back at 60-5 and our countrymen are singing " Are you watching Andrew Strauss " and no doubt the some England supporters may be singing it with vehemence as you stumble to one disaster after another without even one special knock to cheer you up.

McCANN NONSENSE GOES ON

MURDERERS ARE LIBEL TO TAKE YOU COURT

It now seems that almost every time you try and get to the truth about the death of one poor little girl that the actual people responsible for her death take you to court and illicit a sum of money from you, that that can happen is as staggering as their crime itself.

The detective in charge of the case Goncalo Amaral was ordered to pay costs to the McCann's and damages, as if they had not damaged him enough, for doing no more than putting his side of the case into the public after after the British press and the McCann's has trashed his reputation and written an entirely spurious account in a fictional book

Quite how that works is beyond me, but i for one never expected any different outcome because many many people in high places would be looking nervously over their shoulders, that some high powered people are involved in the stench of this sickening cover up is beyond question

However despite the attempts of the government to get the architect of the McCann's flight from justice elected the ordinary decent people of  Brighton decided not to put any more children at risk by having another horrific excuse for a human being anywhere near the corridors of power

Despite all the big guns turning out Clarence Mitchell only finished third in the Brighton Pavillion ward in yesterday's general election,.You see the ordinary people of Britain do not believe the rubbish that has been spoken on the death of poor little Maddie.
Mitchell got his come uppence from the good people of Brighton now we need the good people of England to stand up and put the two people responsible for a dead little girl behind bars.

OSTRICH FARM FOUND AT ECB HEADQUARTERS

HEADS IN THE SAND

Like a pair of stressed ostriches, Alistair Cook and Peter Moores bury their heads in the sand at every turn as the England team lurch from one disaster to another. The attitude on display by this pair of dreamers makes the charge of the light brigade look like a sensible decision by comparison.

Lets face a few facts shall we ?

Since Moores took over from Flower, we have had the old pals act of vengeance, with Flower settling KP's future by not selecting him, thus neatly side stepping the fact that Moores was never going to want KP anywhere near the test side.
Had it been for the South African text mess then it would have been fully understood, but not when after an utter thrashing you get rid off your highest run scorer in the series. Yes KP can be a prat at times,so what ?.
He is not the first talented player to be an idiot ( see Warner and Watson ), manage them, that's part of the job !

Then the Ashes was rearranged to give England full preparation for the world cup, so they go to Sri Lanka on slow pitches to prepare for fast bouncy tracks, loving that one.

They drop Hales, a guy who can win a match on his own and bring in Ballance, a left handed Trott in scoring terms but not as afraid of the short ball. You leave Carberry, KP and others at home and singularly fail to qualify out of the group stages. Utter disaster that heads in Australia would definitely roll for.

Then you fail to beat a mediocre ( yes Graves is right ), West Indies team shorn of it's best players by the IPL. Preferring to purr around Anderson breaking Botham's record ( stats can lie ), whilst watching the public humiliation of Trott who is shot against the short ball and should never have been out there, i wonder Moores didn't analyse the data before taking him.
Then they try and put a positive spin on what was a truly mundane performance. Mediocrity is the word to describe every England venture since you so spinelessly handed the Ashes over to us. What the hell do you think the summer will bring ? It's not a bloody garden party !

Former players are rushing to defend England, is anyone else irritated as hell by Swann's cheeky chappy routine with the insipid Ed Smith on Test Match Special ?. If i hear one more time how Swann is such good mates with Jimmy Anderson i may throw up.
What a good mate, so much so Swann abandoned his good mate to face the bullets and pissed off home halfway through the tour with his injury. Nothing at all to do with the fact that Amla having shown how to deal with Swann was not lost on the Aussie batsmen who then collared him to all parts like a club bowler.Could have stayed and carried the drinks but then one suspects that's what he was being penciled in for in the next test anyway..ego anyone ?.

Then there is Harmison, who decides Boycott's no nonsense, utterly accurate summing up was disgraceful, i think he must have written that piece in his bedroom on his laptop as had he had to be more than five miles away he might have gotten homesick.
Then we have the supremo fiasco, oh my life !! Did you really expect Vaughan who was driven into retirement by injury and Moore's obsessiveness would want any part of a set up he was involved in ?
Bring back Downton because only a bit of a banker would have anything to do with the current regime.Strauss is ideal in that regard, think he wants KP back ? Tee Hee.

Here is what is going to happen..England's top three will score so slowly that by the time the second new ball comes round you will be 200-4 and then collapse to 250 all out, instead of being 270-3 then losing wickets to the new ball is covered and making 400.
Thanks to Anderson,  who only gets wickets in England or easy away tours,you will probably beat NZ unless Brendon smashes him out of the attack. Williamson and Boult however are the keys to any New Zealand success.

As for the Ashes, well what can i say. You've had it. Warner will club early runs, Smith and co will see us get around 400 every time then Johnson,Starc,Harris and Lyon will do the rest. By the way Broad don't bother taking guard, if you are standing at square leg to bat then you don't need one.

It gives me no pleasure to say this because when we beat the Poms i do, like every Australian like to gloat, but i won't this time, it's a bit silly of me to write about the non contest this summer and all England's failings afterward. It hurts me to say this but i actually do feel genuinely sorry for England cricket fans as we will win at least three tests without breaking sweat.We actually only feel good when we beat a good fully functioning England team in a close contest.

Waste of our fucking time coming over to be honest !

MOURINHO THE MASTER

BORED OF THE BORING ONES

What the fuck is it with you Poms ? I understand that football supporters,( mustn't say the word soccer ) are a tribal bunch and cannot see any further than your own team most of the time but you also have a distinct problem with winners, probably 50% annoyance at being not so good yourself and 50% jealousy.

What never ceases to make me laugh is the nonsense that some come out with. The latest being the " boring " tag aimed at Chelsea for their relentless march to another league title.
Boring oh yeah good one ! Scored more away goals than anyone else, kept more clean sheets than anyone else, horrible fact of life is that if you don't concede a goal you can't lose a game of soccer, sorry football, unless on the lottery of a penalty shootout.

Early on at the start of the season Mourinho identified what Chelsea needed to be successful and quietly and decisively went out and brought in players to bring about that success. Others tried that too.
Liverpool, famous for it's sense of humour brought some new players on the back of the millions for Suarez and went for some untested talent with the bulk of the money, commonly known as " doing a Spurs " and to give everyone a giggle topped it off with the purchase of  Mario Balotelli, as obviously the squad was unbalanced  without a petulant self obsessed child.
Manchester City brought Mangala, who defends like he has just escaped from one and has the turning circle of an aircraft carrier and the finesse of a bulldozer in a china shop. The other half of Manchester splashed out £150 million including a staggering £57.9 million on Angel Tia Maria, i know but i am reliably informed like the drink it leaves a bitter aftertaste but goes well with coke.Nice work by Van Gaal by the way, saying Giggs will be the next United manager, rather like Blair promising Brown the leadership to keep him onside and removing the knife from his back in one move.
Arsenal, of course, will not change the way they play, so no worry for Mourinho there then, thirteen unsuccessful attempts by Wenger, but hey it's the taking part that counts, reminding one of Latin fighters unable to change their style and walking onto to eventual and inevitable knock out blow.
By the way Wenger great work with Podolski, 47 goals for the world champions and you ship him out on loan, classy, very classy.

This just highlights that Fabregas, nice one Wenger again, Costa and Matic were identified as being key to a successful season, deals done with alacrity, no need to try and unsettle players like Bale and the idiotic red half of Manchester's attempts to do so. Top tip guys Madrid do not let players go unless they are past their sell by date ( see Tia Maria ), Bale will still be at Madrid next year.

So Mourinho, having served his apprenticeship under the great Sir Bobby Robson has yet another title under his belt, like his mentor he has won titles in different countries, he has done it, with and without money, another label the rosy tinted masses get wrong, he has another Champions League title in his sights, very very difficult but if he does achieve it with Chelsea he will have won it with three different clubs, the only manager to do so.

In Australia we do not have a problem with winners, so Jose old son, if the English press and English fans bore you to death with the blinkered one eyed nonsense of tagging or labeling winners out of spite or jealousy then please, please think about taking over the Socceroo's as it's about the only sport that we are a bit Sunderland at.

BRITISH PUBLIC GIVE GREEN LIGHT TO ECONOMIC SLAVERY

GOOD LUCK WITH THAT

Once again the stupidity of the vast number of the electorate absolutely baffles and enrages me. But on the plus side i can get back to blogging the truth that is either too unpalatable to listen to or people are to dense to understand,

 All the work for the last three months has been utterly wasted in trying to get people to listen and never again shall i try to make people see the facts that are out there, it is a waste of my time so i will just have to blog about it instead.
So as you wake up this morning you will be confronted this morning by a Conservative government that has utterly fooled the vast majority of the public into voting for them. So lets look at what you voted for shall we ?.

More than 900 food banks where people go to get free food have sprung up since the Conservatives took power, when they came to power there were only 41. Yet in one discussion we actually had a woman, very well to do, telling me that it makes her blood boil that these people get dole money and then run off to get free food ! Boy.. is her finger on the pulse of reality.
It may well be i was speaking to the biggest idiot in my area but i was staggered by the fact that over one million people have been forced to abandon their dignity and go cap in hand to charity for free food because they cannot make ends meet.

A typical scenario for most of these is pretty appalling. Not only do the state make it extremely difficult to claim benefit but most using food banks are working. Yes you heard that right, most are working and their situation is more lamentable than the Tesco's fiasco. Remember that one ?  Let me remind you.
A while back the government decided to make anyone claiming dole work for their money so what you had in effect was a slave labour market and my didn't Tesco's and others leap on the opportunity to get people to work 40 hours for just under £100.
So there is a public outcry and it gets stopped neatly sidestepping the fact that these people were then taken off unemployment and given zero hours contracts.
Before we go any further this has nothing to do with working mum's needing flexible hours to suit, flexible hours have always been available in a wide range of jobs like cleaning or child care.

This is a godsend to the government who get people off their unemployed books and for unscrupulous employers who can give you as many or as little hours as they wish. Imagine you are the one on a zero hours contract and your employer wants you to work a night shift. You point out that you are a single parent and need to be at home with your children. Your employer states that this is not a problem but there are no other shifts open this week, or maybe very limited hours.Off to the food bank you go as you cannot claim unemployment benefit. By the way it takes up to six weeks to come through if you are made redundant and there are no emergency loans or payments, how do you eat.
Go get another job fast right ? Get down the job centre right ?... Wrong !.

All the work or the vast majority of it is no longer at the job centre but with employment agencies and guess what ..they are zero hours contracts too, every one of them. So the reality is that it is the same merry go round again, can you travel ten miles to stack shelves on Thursday evening ? No..ohh ok then we will call you when we have something else will be the reply. In reality they won't bother unless desperate as Janos that great little Pplish worker will work any hours, any day for minimum wage and no bathroom breaks.
Get an apprenticeship right ? Yep if you are 17 to 20 Superdrug do those laughable apprenticeships stacking shelves for £2.73 an hour !!

Allow me to enlighten you to a fact that the media are not highlighting, a staggering fact that no one wants to hear as it does not affect them. There are over 900,000 people on zero hour contracts in Britain, over 45% of those people have had to use food banks at one time or another or they and their children starve. Do not be fooled by the tripe that people are lazy and do not want to work, when you have mouths to feed you will do anything, in desperation, some do.
Another fact you may be alarmed by is that 98,000 people caught shoplifting did it because they were starving hungry, they were not stealing to sell or alcoholics !

So remember what you voted for if you indeed put this government back in. Remember you said it was ok for the people that make decisions on your behalf to block and obstruct investigations into pedophilia, it is ok to frack under your homes and contaminate your drinking water and you believe the nonsense about the economy.
Let me enlighten you to something you may not be aware of. The government borrowed £500 billion pounds from the treasury, the treasury print the money that we all use. Of course this is done electronically so you do not see £500 billion pound coins !.
The government borrows that money but is charged interest so here is the question you need to ask yourself... IF THE GOVERNMENT BORROWS MONEY FROM THE TREASURY AND THE TREASURY PRINT THE NOTES WHERE DOES THE MONEY COME FROM TO PAY THE INTEREST ?

Got that ? Excellent all this economic and fiscal nonsense is designed to stop you from seeing that the DEBT CAN NEVER BE REPAID, so good luck with that work based pension you are automatically opted into.
While we are on the subject you may remember the SNP ran on the no austerity ticket and now they will probably abandon that as they climb into bed with the Conservatives. So a neat little trick of just failing in the Scottish referendum thanks to thousands of spoiled ballot papers, to get independence.

The SNP were bound to eat into the Labour strong hold in Scotland, thus making the Conservative position stronger, ask yourself who benefits and it is not such a long walk after all.
Oh and erm.. good luck with having Scotland decide what English people will do..oops.. but do not fear as in four years time the SNP will be used as the scapegoat as the Liberals were this time around.

As an Aussie i love the Yorkshire phrase "There's nowt so queer as folk ".